Untappd potential

     "Boy, he can sure put them away." That was an excerpt from a little conversation an ex-girlfriend had with me when her mom noticed the efficiency I put away beers as we traveled. I said I was doing it for a badge on Untappd, "Take It Easy" or 12 beers in one day. We were traveling all day and I'm scared shitless of flying and subsequent crashing. It gave me something to occupy my time and keep my mind off the fiery wreckage that could be.

     I've used the Untappd app for over 5 years now. It was my iPhone 3, so it's been some time. The use of the application is to log the beers you drink. You can take a picture of the brew and where you drink them. You can also rate the beer based on a scale of 1 to 5. Then, there are badges, some pertaining to the styles of beer or locations of the beer. Looking at my badge collection, I have a penchant for India pale ales. I didn't grow up on IPAs. I grew up on cheap, North American adjuncts, cream ales and the such. Never did I think I'd have 100s of IPAs.

     I love the app. On one hand, I use it as a badge of honor. I am the consummate pioneer, forging new lands for things to share with the Old World. My travel has bequeathed onto me a list of beers that people that I grew up with never had the opportunity to try. There is one person on my list where I question the validity of the check-ins. I know that the Buffalo market doesn't provide such brews, so when they check in with a beer exclusive to a certain region, I have to question it. Sure - there are bottle sharing programs, but come on. I was born at night, not last night. There is the pinnacle Uber badge, for those who have had 10,000 individual beers. Not impossible, however, it would require a lot of travel.

     Potential is one thing, but negativity is another. Both can grow exponentially. Have you ever been in a lunchroom talking shit about a customer that was the dumbest one you've ever talked too? Then a co-worker one-ups you with their dumbest. Then it becomes a contest in negativity. Negativity begets negativity and before you know it, you're sitting at your desk bewildered wanting just to go home, order a grilled cheese stuffed pizza and drink a 6 pack of beer and watch sitcom TV. You wake up in the morning regretting the last night's activity. You plan on hitting the gym after work but then you meet up with your mates in the break room and start talking about the dumb customers.

    If you were to ask my ex, Untappd was an excuse for my drinking. It rewarded my lizard brain with a token for the decisions I made to drink. However, I see it as a chance to track what I've had, akin to a baseball card collection. You know, from a young age, we're told that we can be whatever we wanted to be when we grew up. Of course, you're asking 5 and 6 year olds this question and you're going to get the same, tried answers. Doctor, lawyer, soldier. I grew up in a home with beer. Albeit, it was the home of an alcoholic.

    Choice is, ostensibly, ours. Like in judo or jiu jitsu, you can use an opponent's leverage against them. We can use things as a benefit or detriment. Maybe in the first years of my drinking career, it was just about drinking and getting laid, but now it's for style points. I've been drunk more than a few times in my life and now I'm going for the Uber badge. There's smart ways of doing it, not just pounding a 6 pack of whatever I pick up at Fred Meyer's. You can go to a brewery and have a taster or a flight where you can have 5+ samples of whatever a brewery is offering.

Work smarter, not harder. Get drunker.