While living in Boston, Massachusetts, I frequented a British pub called the Banshee. After a few Carlsbergs on an early Saturday morning watching Premier League soccer. After talking about the Liverpool game we were watching, I noticed we was drinking a Budweiser. What?! There's no shortage of Guinness at this pub, along with Bass or Harp. Has this man lost his mind? So I ask him, "why Bud?" He takes another pull and in his Irish brogue he goes, "because it's the same no matter where you are in the world." Irish profundity at it's best.
Let's talk about American Adjunct Lager. It almost sounds as if it's a Franken-food, like a meat by-product. According to Randy Mosher in Tasting Beer, corn and rice adjunct beers date back to 1540 in the Americas but it was popularized in the 1800s. If rice or corn is in the recipe, it's an adjunct and as the quantity of rice and corn goes up the price goes down. Legally in the United States, a beer can be as much as 50% "adjunct." Adjunct beers are drier and there is a slight malty taste to it, if there's corn then there will be a sweeter taste to it. If rice is used as an adjunct, then you'll notice a crisper taste to it. The uninitiated will confuse the Bohemian and German pilsner styles with American adjuncts because they have a similar flavor, but the true difference are the ingredients used.
Really, I think the heart of the matter is the Alcohol by Volume (ABV) level: 3.8-5%. American adjuncts are "sipping" beers wherein you can have 6 without really feeling it the next morning. The average ABV of an India Pale Ale is around 4-7%. I've seen some IPAs redline around 7.5% ABV before breaking into the Double IPA division. Most people have memories of parents or grandparents always having a "domestic" in tow. Note, sometimes I use the term domestic to refer to a macrobrewery such as Anheuser-Busch or Labatt if you live close enough to the Canadian border.
I grew up in a rural area of Western New York. Explaining craft beer to people from there would be explaining the Internet to the Pilgrims. However in the modest town of Batavia, New York lies an oasis for curious drinkers, Angotti's. It is a Batavian institution! They offered a wide range of offerings and even home brewing equipment. This was my first foray into the craft beer world. I remember spending my paltry wages in that store to at the very least to be that guy who has had that beer before. Throughout my time as an undergraduate, I would travel to stores like Angotti's or Consumer Beverage to find that drink that I haven't had before. Almost as if it was a game! While my roommates played beer pong with Busch, I was playing with Sam Adams. I was Robert DeNiro in Deer Hunter and I was playing with 3 bullets! I would never sully my palate with an adjunct.
That was until I decided to put down the Xbox controller and head to the bars to meet the acquaintance of fellow binge drinkers of a different gender. Trolling for puntang, whichever terminology you like. If you want to be cool, drink craft beers in a bar circa 2008. If you want to be poor, drink craft beers in a bar circa 2008. That's where I knew I had to change the way I thought about my tact. What you drink should fit when your drinking. There's a reason why Coronas are beach beers, you can sit and drink a bunch of them throughout the day without getting super drunk. You're not going to a tailgate and shotgunning a schwarzbier. No, you're going to do that with a Labatt because you'll be sleeping in the bleachers pissing yourself before the first quarter ends and not at halftime which is culturally acceptable.
No, I hear you beer snob. Never Trump and Never Bud. You're too good to enjoy the carnal pleasure of responsible day drinking and you want to throw it all way for the guise of vanity. No, I get it - you have a brand. Well friend, I have a solution for you, the session IPA. The lore of the session india pale ale stems from the British tradition of session drinking. Colloquially, it's referred to day drinking. You know how those Brits are all prim and proper. It's not butt sex, it's rear penetration. Like any government, Her Majesty's Revenue Service taxes by the gravity of the beer. Gravity is the rough calculation of how much alcohol will end up in the finalized product. So, higher gravity beers will have a higher alcohol content and therefore will be taxed more. So, for the layman a session IPA is the Bud Light of the IPA family. Cyril Higgenbotham can wander into the pub for lunch and have his Ploughman's lunch and if he wanted to make a day of it, he could stay in that pub and stay there until his missus drags his ass home Andy Capp style. Over the past 5 years, there's been a deluge of session IPAs, the most ubiquitous being Founders All Day IPA. You can't go wrong with those sassy suds. But, if you were like me, here's a list of other session IPAs from Rate Beer.
Regardless of your stature in life, your drink should reflect your activity. You shouldn't wear a suit to the beach and you shouldn't drink double IPAs if you plan growing roots in your barstool. Last night I drank a 6 pack of Iron City and had a couple of glasses of water in between and I woke up chipper and ready to hash out this article. Later, while watching the Timbers game I can partake a few stronger drinks and then switch it up to Miller Lite and just coast on that buzz until I wake up to watch soccer. There's nothing wrong with drinking a cheap beer from time to time. No one is judging and if they are, to hell with them.
Smart people plan ahead and drink responsibly. You're smart, aren't you?
No comments:
Post a Comment