Generally, people view the New Year holiday as a tabla rasa event, otherwise known as a blank slate. However, laying in bed one night, I reflected on this holiday and the seasons past. Like any successful holiday dinner, the table must be appropriately set with all the utensils and dishes. I wanted to set my holiday table with some good things and some bad things. At the end of the year, I'll clear the table and prepare for the next meal.
It can be difficult to remember everything. All the Stoic podcasts I listened to, they always recommend journaling. When I was younger, I journaled and as I grew up, I put my thoughts out there on this website. To be more productive, I spent money on planning books that have space to write some goals, thoughts, and to-do lists. Although I hate clutter, I've kept my 2021 and 2022 planners. Interestingly enough, I looked back at my goals for 2022. Most were health-related, as I wrote those at the end of 2021 and COVID was coming to an end. I wanted to schedule appointments with the dermatologist to take care of a cyst I had on the back of my neck. It was out of sight, out of mind because I couldn't see it but some of it "wasn't a problem." Just like getting my wisdom teeth out. I was hoping to avoid temporary discomfort to maintain the status quo. I think there's a large population who live life this way. Marcus Aurelius said "Everything's destiny is to change, to be transformed, to perish. So that new things can be born." It's like when there's a friend we don't talk to anymore or a relationship that ended. Those events needed to happen.
Also on my 2022 to-do list was to get my Salesforce System Administrator certification. My goal for the future was to be an accounting software consultant. I have been working within the accounting software ecosystem for 7 years now. At the point of making the system admin goal, I worked with Salesforce for 2 years. But as the time came to study for the exam, my anxiousness towards test taking was taking a toll on my well-being. HL Mencken said that "a cynic is a man, when he smells flowers, he looks around of a coffin." I failed my first attempt at the test. No one feels good after taking a loss, but I used the opportunity to take a step back and stop worrying about my self-imposed deadline. I got back to the basics, pored myself into my work, and understood the "why" things worked the way they did. I tried to be open with how I felt and people in my circle were very supportive. I rescheduled the exam and passed. Stoics say to stop letting anxiety rule you. "No one feels good after worrying about something." Which is 100% correct. Taking the exam again, I accepted that whether I passed or failed, I'm putting in my best effort.
Living a healthy life has always been a lofty goal. Epicureanism argues that pleasure was the chief good in life. Yet, there's a caveat to that. Eating and drinking the best things is wonderful, but you have to do so moderately to avoid the suffering incurred by overindulgence. That last part keeps tripping me up. The past spring and summer, I put a lot of effort into my physical well-being by running, riding the Peloton daily, and working out. The Spring and Summer of 2022 in Portland were really splendid and this was all a breeze. Even so, there may have been a nice summer night where I had an extra beer or two and an extra slice of pizza. In September, I went back to Buffalo for a wedding and vacation. There were so many bars and restaurants that I haven't been to in 2 years and the nostalgia was hitting hard. So, there was a plan to hit up as much as possible. I was the driver, so I wasn't drinking to excess because a DWI on vacation was not high on my list of things to do. I certainly ate my fill, but there were measures that were taken, like using the hotel gym or visiting my friend who had a gym. In the blink of an eye, the trip was over and weight was gained and I couldn't find that form I had early in the year.
With a new job, I just immersed myself in it. I wanted to be the best right out of the gate. It was almost like I forgot the Salesforce drama from earlier in the year. I thought that I didn't have enough time to work out. When I worked in a gym selling memberships, it was one of the most popular excuses. We often think that we don't have enough time, but we actually do. However, we waste more time than anything else. One thing Seneca said about fools is that they're always getting ready to begin. Looking back, creating to-do lists that I was waiting for tomorrow to start. Why not now?
In How to Change, Katy Milkman explained one experiment where she was trying to find out the best method to work out, either to have it hard scheduled or as a daily to-do list. People can be successful with the to-do list because there will be events that disrupt our day, like an impromptu meeting or a sick child, or just life in general. Also, give yourself some grace when something doesn't go the way it was expected. When it comes to any change really, we can't expect to always have the motivation to do it. Generally, the world doesn't move based on motivation. It moves because it does and the rest just falls into place whether we like it or not.
I'm writing this in the middle of December, right before Christmas. I think I've set the table with the right plates and utensils. There's going to be some good things on the table, like a roast, but there's also going to be something I don't like - fancy cranberry sauce. One of the leftovers I can take is to just move and just lift the heavy weight. Doesn't sound like fun but 'no man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity. For he is not permitted to prove himself.' It's the Stoic mindset of being free from anxiety or fear. Those aren't actionable, those are avoidances.
Survival is not a goal, it's a state. So, I wish you a wonderful holiday season and a prosperous New Year.
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